The Von Bucati Mansion

The Von Bucati Mansion

By Dan Watt

Author of the e-books Ruby Queen and Sylvia on Kobo.com; and e-books Lucy and the Snivel Chair and DRAGON: The Emerald Of Light on Amazon.com

I think the reason Marvel (Disney) is box office is succeeding over DC (Warner Bros.) is that Marvel has light humour (Hulk punching Thor after they fought together to defeat Loki’s minions) while DC is dark humour (the Joker to Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad:  “I’m not going to kill you I’m just gonna hurt you really, really bad.”  As for horror DC wins, Heath Ledger’s Joker made the skin crawl.

Cont. (Blog 4)

I’m frustrated.  Elizabeth Von Bucati has left me no method to contact her.  I went through her Will and there’s no phone number, e-mail address not even a home address.  There is nothing on the web that tells me how to contact anyone in the Bucati family or their company Iterum Vivere.  I want the 250 GTO Technopromo model car from Bert but I won’t get it if I can’t contact Mrs. Von Bucati!  I drive a 2017 cherry red Alfa Romeo 4C year round.  All I need to do is charm Mrs. Von Bucati and get more of her family or business contacts to hire me as their family lawyer and I can buy my dream car, a Ferrari F355 Spider.  I would have to buy a winter car or just keep the Alfa Romeo 4C.

Because I’m a General Practice Lawyer I can handle wills, court representation and other matters.  The deal made between myself, Bert, Bob, and Janet is that if there is any overlap we help each other out.  If an employer at the corporation Bert represents needs a lawyer for a personal matter he would give them my card.  If I represent someone who needs a lawyer for personal injury at work, I collaborate with Bob.  If I, Bert, or Bob have a client who is up on criminal charges we bring Janet on board.

I haven’t won a case yet, because the judges always feel my evidence is too strong, so they attack me personally, trying to prove inconclusively that my facts are not solid.  I asked Janet to help me with a case a few months ago.  She gave me poor advice, and I chose to ignore it.  Because of her, my client ended up going to prison for a year.  I’ve forgiven her, but she’s so embarrassed she doesn’t talk to me anymore.

I have now spent half an hour trying to find a way to contact Mrs. Von Bucati.  I’ll do a bit of grocery shopping before I look at what messages I want to answer.

Varilla’s Grocery Store is at the corner of my office’s block.  Adelaide Street is so congested at 11 a.m. I just walk over.  As I pull out a cart I see a thick, black wallet.  The store has a few moms with kids in their carts but mostly elderly people shuffling around.  Not too many people in the cereal aisle so I’ll get my Cap’n Crunch and Alphabets cereal first.  I put the Alphabets box into the cart and grab the wallet and slip it into my left suit pocket.  I’m sure the store has cheap cameras but I’ll say I was going to return it if anyone saw me take it.  As a lawyer I know how store security works and how to talk my way out of awkward situations.

I pick up a few produce and head over to the cashier.  She’s middle aged and very friendly.  No indication that she knows I took the wallet.  It’s not really stealing, it’s a choice.  Finders Keeper Losers Weepers is a mantra I believe in unless I’m the loser.  If that ever happens I will take whoever the moron is who stole my property to court.

Back at my office I slip the wallet out.  There’s two hundred dollars in twenties and fifties!  Poor sap.  I don’t feel it is ethical to use or take personal items like driver licence’s, or family pictures, and debit and credit cards can be traced.  Without trying to find out whose wallet it is I drop it inside my waste basket.  I’ll just put my groceries in the communal fridge and empty the wallet later into the dumpster at the edge of the parking lot.

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